Welcome to Amber's Webpage

I am a complete and total freak muhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah!!!But do not be afraid, i don't bite, unless i have requests anyway!!!

Fear me, me harties! A har!

My claim to fame is that i can talk FROLLOCKS for Britain. I think that's something to be proud of anyway!!! Even if you don't so ha!!! As you can see, I really and truly can talk frollocks for Britain, so if at any point you completely and totally lose track of the point of the sentence, don't be scared, it's perfectly normal, and I make a lot more sense once you've had a lot of alcohol anyway!!!

I am bananas!

I don't really know how this webpage is going to be built but I think it's really cool that it's going to be, but I'm not going to question how its actually made, cos that's far too technical. I am an arty person, and some would say (namely Paul) that people like me don't have the capacity to actually understand "SCIENCEY THINGS", that big mystery in life with a weird title!!!

Today, Paul explained why the sky is blue.  Cool.  Its not really blue! But too be honest, I think hes wrong, it is really blue. I blame God.

Anyway, my favourite word is not totally dis-similar to TONKER and I overuse this word, but I don't find it really has any social constraints, it's just an ALL PURPOSE sort of a word!

WAKE UP - I AM A FREAK!

Think of as many different ways of using the word TONKER in a public place without offending anyone!

Oh, and just before I stop talking complete and total frollocks, I'd better warn you (or maybe advise you) about the imminant arrival of the Cyril and Cecil sagas (involving snails) and I will hopefully publish childrens' books that equal the standards of the hungry caterpillar!!!!! Everyone remembers the hungry caterpillar for the rest of their lives, and I one day hope to be able to influence the innocent minds of little children with my little childrens books!!!

You should all count yourselves lucky that I'm writing in paragraphs, because as a rule I don't believe in them. In fact, I'm going to create a petition against them, because they are unnecessary, require much thought, and are never good enough, so I am abstaining from the use of the aforementioned items through protest!!!

Boogie with Elmo! His bass is good!

As this site is under construction and totally psychedelic, I'm going to stop waffling now, and leave you with my Mantra that I find necessary for my sole existence!!!